Happy 5th Anniversary to me! Five years ago, I started this site by coming up with super cool boss monster rules for Dungeons & Dragons, 4th Edition. Now it’s time to do it all again. I’m laying the ground work for D&D 5E Paragon Monsters in this article, which I will continue to build on in future articles.

You want more Paragon Creatures? You got it! How about animated armor that changes weapons and tactics when you beat it up? How about elementals crammed into animated armor that explode forth and wreck your s$&% if you hit them too much. OH YEAH!!! F&$% you, Erwin Schrödinger

Need an awesome volcano dragon boss fight for your level 14 PCs in D&D 5E? Of course you do. Who the f$&% doesn’t? Here, have one. Happy Fourth of July!

Remember how, months ago, I promised there would be more boss fighty goodness? Well, here’s some more boss fighty goodness. Let’s talk about swarms and oozes and that one wizard who can make copies of himself that are indistinguishable from him.

Remember the old days? When heroes would literally tear monsters limb from limb? Wouldn’t it be awesome if one of the D’s in D&D stood for dismemberment? Here’s how to build monsters in D&D that can literally be torn apart!

You know what’s cool? Cutting a bloody swath through waves of minor foes. Unfortunately, D&D 5E doesn’t handle that very well. Trust me. It claims you can fight 20 or 30 beasts at a time and that minor beasts stay relevant against high level foes, but don’t bet on that. Fortunately, I’m here to provide a way that actually works.